Fourth verse, same as the first.

Ugggghhhhh. [slumps down onto the floor and lays there a while] There's been some... developments. First off! The so-far third artist for the Grey Bouquet picture book has left the project, on account of nabbing their dream job. Good for them! We have absolutely no problem with folks getting to live their dreams. The FOURTH artist, Theo Lorenz, of Unicorns Are Jerks coloring book fame (among many others you should check out) has stepped up to the plate with all speed, and is already seven pages into the 40 page picture book after only a couple months! This artist has a stellar track record of following through on projects, and it's our sincere hope that the Grey Bouquet picture book will be ready to show off in late 2016. In the meantime! We realize that's a super long time for fans to wait, so we've got some sweet, sweet merchandise sales to tide you over until then. If you happen to be stopping by MSP ComicCon (formerly SpringCon) this weekend, there's going to be an unprecedented T-shirt sale going on there, with shirts as low as $5 to $10 a pop! This is ONLY going on during this MSP ComicCon, and these shirts aren't going to be reprinted by our humble doodle wrangler after they sell out, either, so it really is first come, first served deal this Saturday and Sunday! Want to see how the picture book's progressing? Check out the table for Jonathan Goltz, aka Grey Bouquet Designs, and see for yourself! We're sure you'll be as excited as we are, once you see the preview images.

post-SpringCon 2013 update!

Hey all! S'been a while.

Figure I should update to let folks know why nothing's been happening with this series since the T-shirts and greeting cards. There're a few reasons, actually.

1.) For the past year and a half, I've been putting most of my efforts into an autobiographical webcomic called Cordyceps Tickles!. I work full-time, too, so time's kinda tight for creative stuff.

2.) There is going to be a Grey Bouquet picture book (the script's been finished for a couple years now), but I've gone through three different artists so far, trying to find one that both (a) brings a super good creepy-cute style to the project, and (b) doesn't disappear-- which is why the first artist and I had to part ways, no matter how cool the four pages of art I got in over a year ended up looking.

3.) The current artist (who's presently 14 of 40 pages in) is really really busy with other projects as well, and I don't mind the slower pace if it's going to mean the book will have artwork that's this good (no, the watermarks won't be on 'em, you sillies):





See what I mean? And that's without any text yet!

So. Thanks to all of you who've been hanging in there to hear from the Grey Bouquet bunch-- supporting the merchandise, stopping by to chat at conventions... Great big Innernet hugs for each and every one of you. I mean it. You've been awesome already, which is why I wish I could tell you the picture book will be out before 2014 at the earliest. 'Cause it probably won't.

But when it is, I'll let you all know.

Hey, all!

Warm, sweaty-palmed welcomes to all of you here from FallCon! It was so cool to meet everyone!

If you've explored the main greybouquet.com site enough to get here, you've probably noticed how things go wonky if you try clicking the Shop link. There's a reason for that, and your humble doodle wrangler's tried to fix it, but I sadly do not speak Website-ese well enough to do so successfully.

For now, if you want to check out the shop, go HERE: http://greybouquet.etsy.com/

The newest greeting card that debuted at FallCon, New Baby, should be listed there within the next couple days.

And the zombie poodle's name IS....

[cymbal crash]

MISTER PUDGE.

SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO IT SHALL BE DONE


The website and Etsy shop have been fixed to match. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some fliers with the old name on 'em to drop down a memory hole somewhere.

PS: we have always been at war with Eurasia

-----

Speaking of skeleton poodles: I may not know Ophelia, but I know a good skeleton poodle maker when I see one. Check this stuff out!

no more Mister Nice Bitch.

Hey! Check us out, all still bein' alive and all!

What's up with the radio silence? Well, again, most of the effort going into Grey Bouquet these past months has been stuff involving the picture book. Parted ways with one artist, presently working out test pages with a new one... The character design sketches are lookin' awesome! Wish I could show some around, but you'll have to make do with this for now:



No, that's not from the book. That's a teaser sketch of the new greeting card in the works! Three guesses what occasion this one's celebrating.

---

Speaking of greeting cards... awkward cough. Some bad news on this front.

Not naming names (especially since I don't know what they were), but it's come to our attention that a couple folks were sending the Mister Bitch "Happy Birthday Bitch" card to gals they knew, specifically with threatening or harrassing messages. And while it would be easy to shrug and reply with some knee-jerk excuse like "His name is meant to be a joke!" the fact remains: it's only gals who've been targeted, and NO, THIS IS NOT OKAY.

So. Time to own up to my naivete-- just because I meant it to be a joke, some folks aren't joking when they talk against women like that, and by selling this card, I've made it easier (and worse, made it seem more acceptable; 'hey, there's even a card I can buy that agrees with me!') to do stuff like those couple of folks did, unintentionally or not.

This ties in with the writers' critique meetups I've gotten feedback from re: the picture book script, where everyone so far has agreed (unanimously!) that "Mister Bitch" probably isn't the best name to use for a character in a book where all the names come across as meant to be jokey and cute.

Well, I agree with them. I may not have a new name picked for Amnio's zombie poodle just yet, but there will be a name change coming in the near future.

I've pulled the "Happy Birthday Bitch" card from all stores in the area, as well as the Etsy shop. I'll still have a few on hand at conventions, but if you buy one, I'm going to ask you to look me in the eye and say: "I solemnly swear I won't be a jerk."

Thanks in advance for understanding, yeah?

---

Speaking of conventions, let's get to some happier stuff! This spring, Grey Bouquet will have a booth at:

SAINT PAUL ART CRAWL
Cosmopolitan building
250 E 6th Street, Saint Paul
Friday April 27, 6-10 PM;
Saturday April 28, 12-8 PM;
Sunday April 29, 12-5 PM

SPRINGCON
MN State Fairgrounds, Saint Paul - Grandstand building
May 19 & 20, 10am to 5pm

---

One last thing: if you want to see all the stuff I've been drawing lately that isn't Grey Bouquet, swing by the webcomic I've been updating every Monday and Friday since October.


Autobiographical, with a cast of animal blobs representing different folks. (NOTE: Not work safe if your boss has a problem with occasional swear words.)

INCOMING!

Everybody look alive! Fall convention season's coming this way, and trust me, no amount of huffing and puffing is gonna blow it off its course!

So, let's say you've got a hankering to check out what's new in the Grey Bouquet universe AND get in some quality nerd time all at once. Where do you go? Read on, truth-seekers:


SCHOOLGIRLS & MOBILESUITS
http://schoolgirlsandmobilesuits.com
Saturday, October 1: 11am-1pm
Sunday, October 2: 11am-1pm
Bazaar in main building's cafeteria
2501 Stevens Ave S
Minneapolis, MN 55404

SAINT PAUL ART CRAWL
http://www.stpaulartcrawl.org
Friday, October 7: 6-10pm
Saturday, October 8: noon-8pm
Sunday, October 9: noon-5pm
Cosmopolitan Building
250 E 8th St.
Saint Paul, MN 55101

FALLCON
http://midwestcomicbook.com
Saturday, October 15th: 10am-4pm
MN State Fairgrounds - in the Progress Center
1621 Randall Ave.
Saint Paul, MN 55108

MIX - MINNEAPOLIS INDIE XPO
http://mplsindiexpo.com
Saturday, November 5: 10am-5pm
Sunday, November 6: 10am-5pm
The Soap Factory
518 Second St. SE
Minneapolis, MN 55458


...aaaand pencils down. Everybody got that? Good.


Still undecided? Having a first shot at new GBQ merch not sealing the deal for you yet? Well, we've got snazzy new booth toys this time around, too. Here's proof of one of 'em in progress:



Also, if you've always had a hankering for getting your picture taken with a certain life-sized headless chicken... oh, that's right. Dreams DO come true, people.

-----

...Wha? What the-- we've got FANART?!

No kiddin'! Check out what Grand Master of Cool Mr. Ben Turner sent us last week:


"I'll have four fried me's and a Coke."

Not pictured: like five more Photoshopped Nugget-head pics besides this, including one that involved a truly terrifying gigantic fiberglass head of Eddie Murphy.

The Internet, folks. There are magical people there, and I heart them. Very much.

Still not dead!

In fact, to prove how NOT dead we are, slam your eyeballs against this beauty:



By popular demand-- the wedding greeting card!

Does it need some spit-polish yet before it'll be ready for print? Good gravy, yes it does.

Will this be seen to in the immediate future? You're darn tootin' it will.

Will you be able to pick one up for yourself by the time the next GBQ convention appearances roll around this October? I'm 99.9999% certain, yes. This one's too fun to sit on, am I right?

Will the card have that fugly watermark on it? Naw. Only the best for you fine folks. :D

CONvergence is imminent!

(Translation for folks who aren't nerds for Scrabble: there's a convention about to happen VERY SOON.)

Hey, all! Brush that sleep and/or fallout dust outta your eyelids, 'cause we've got some news happenin' over here!

First off: as the title suggests, in just a few days, you're gonna be waking up, and CONvergence is gonna be ALL OVER YOU, AAAAAA. So you'd better be prepared. Is that it? Over there? IS IT? Maybe. YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU.

Grey Bouquet'll have a table there at the Artists' Alley, though your guess is as good as ours as to exactly when. That's con mayhem for ya. Keeps you on your toes. Like the folks with bunny and kitty hats and candy necklaces who run up out of nowhere and tackle-hug you at these kind of things. Builds character, I say.

---

Second: at long last, One Year Closer To Dying greeting cards are back in stock!

So are the Nugget pins, Amnio pins, AND Mister Bitch pins that went and got redesigned all snazzy-like! (True, the pictures haven't changed for 'em yet, but the new photos should show up there in the store by tomorrow.)

Same for Nugget's Diary T-shirts, including for the first time ever: SIZE SMALLS! All you tiny people out there who love wearing headless chickens on your torsos, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. We even gave the shirt design itself an upgrade and made the back logo big enough for folks to read without them getting all up in your personal space and squinting at it! Terminally shy people who like Nugget with his neck scruff pointing the right way? THIS IS YOUR MOMENT TOO.

Heck, EVERYTHING at the Etsy shop is back online! Silly us for not noticing they expired. again. cough. All of you who like not having to go outside to buy things? THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. ALL YOURS.

...Look at us, handing out moments like we've lost the lease over here. Everybody calm down, okay? We're getting to the bottom of the moment bag for today, and I don't want all of you fighting over the last ones. Remember what happened to poor little Sally last month.



There, that's better.

---

Thirdly, regarding any more updates in the near future: your humble doodle wrangler is still stuck up to the thoracic cavity in busy. There's going to be an honest-to-Pete Grey Bouquet webcomic! Someday...! With, like, pages and a storyline and such. The first part's scripted out and everything.

When is it going to start happening? I wish I had any idea. When I have a clearer answer, by all means, this blog'll keep you covered. I know, sorry, sorry... I hate cliffhangers, too.

---

So apparently it was Father's Day last week. Who knew? (Aside from everybody, I mean. Shh. You weren't supposed to answer that one.)



As always, you might have to click the picture to see the whole thing if it's clipping partway-- and if you're not seeing the dialogue on the right side of it, that means you'll need to click to see it. Thanks for sticking through the technical difficulties.

Huh..? His feet? Of course Amnio's dad has feet. Shh. You're not supposed to notice that, either.

I feel fine..! Think I'll go for a walk

Hello, and great big it's-okay-we-showered-not-too-long-ago handshakes to those of you just joining us from the conventions GBQ's been at this past month! All of you shiny happy people were awesome and awesome to meet. (Especially the one who let me take a photo of his teeth. Those were some fantastic teeth. Believe me, you'd agree if you saw them.)

For those of you who've been here a while, though, your first question probably has to do with how there's been squat for updates this past month as well. And I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news-- especially for the new folks, 'cause for you, this is like when you find out the fast food place down the street is building a new playplace, and when you get there, wouldn't you know it, their new height rules say you're JUST too tall to be able to play on it-- but it's become painfully obvious lately that I can run Grey Bouquet, OR I can keep up a full-time job, but I haven't figured out how to do both at the same time just yet.

So for the time being, no more regular Monday updates here on the blog. I'll still update when there's news or an upcoming event or something, never fear, but for now, my time's going into

1.) revamping the site to make it easier to navigate, especially in time for
2.) getting the first sequence of actual honest-to-Pete main storyline Grey Bouquet webcomic pages ready to put up, with any remaining time put into
3.) continuing work on the picture book.

Feel free to send any candidates for the Velveteen Underground to greybq[AT]gmail.com in the meantime. Yup, that's still a thing that's going on.


So. Not dead. Slooooowly getting better.

scrawled on the wall in red pen

If you can read this message, you will know I am still alive.


It has been many weeks since I first descended into the florescent-lit Off'ice village and made first contact with its tribe.

My trials in those early days were many and merciless, and I have learned much. I have picked up smatterings of the Off'ice people's native written language, with its complex system of carbon transfer papers. I now know the thrill of returning from a successful Chipotle's hunt. The bloody consequences of touching any food bearing the inscription "DAVE'S".

Was not expecting the ritual circumcision, I will admit, but even that part wasn't too bad after the screaming stopped and I passed out.

It was... has it already been two weeks? Time grows strange in this place. Whenever it was, I was surprised and honored to be presented with a proposal by the mighty figure they refer to only in whispered tones as "H.R.": I would become a regular member of their tribe! My responsibilities would only grow with my title, Returning Temp, but they assured me my rewards would more than meet the difference.

So I write to you, my beloved brainchildren, and beg you not to despair. I am allowed short times away from my duties, and in those rare times when I do not collapse and fall instantly asleep, I will think of new stuff for you to blow up, or attempt to eat, et cetera.

I will remember.


--Your creator


TL;DR version
WORK PROMOTION appeared!
PROMOTION uses EXTRA HOURS
PROMOTION goes NOM NOM NOM
SUPER EFFECTIVE
GERBIL HAS FAINTED!

GREY BOUQUET used UPDATE!
But nothing happened...

---

Hokay. Pins and shirts ordered. New GBQ booth display sketched out.

Grey Bouquet part of Black Hat Collective booth banner (made for upcoming convention season, starting with April 29th's St. Paul Art Crawl weekend, where you can catch all of our ragtag comic artist bunch LIVE): done.



Sleeptime: emminent.

Once work's over, I mean.

get it while it's... hot?

Snow's meltin'! Everybody get some sledding time in while you still can't see all the dead grass and animal poop the snow's worked so hard to try and hide. (Good try, snow. We knew you'd give it your best shot.)

Or playing-in-traffic time works too. Either way. Much safer now that there's no cars to worry about, anyhow.

So of course, the image above led to this table-napkin scribble:


PLEASE PULL OVER SIR
THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A MINIMUM SPEED OF 35 MILES PER HOUR TO ME

---

Speaking of something I guess might in some way be related to traffic safety and/or winter sports if you squint hard enough: convention time is upon us once more! And of course, there'll be a few appetizer cons to tide you over 'till the main-course summer conventions start rollin'. Here's where Grey Bouquet will have a booth in the next couple months:

* SAINT PAUL ART CRAWL *
Cosmopolitan Building
250 6th Street East
Saint Paul, MN 55101
Friday, April 29th - 6:00pm until 10:00pm
Saturday, April 30th - noon through 8:00pm
Sunday May 1st - noon 'till 5:00pm

* SPRINGCON *
Minnesota State Fairgrounds, Grandstand Building
1265 Snelling Ave. N
Saint Paul, MN 55113
Saturday, May 21st - 10am to 5pm
Sunday, May 22nd - 10am to 5pm

---

Until then, still workin' on the last touchups for pin/shirt/greeting card makeovers/reorders. Once the restocks are, uh... well, restocked, you'll hear it here first!

someone in this room... IS A DINOSAUR. dun dun DUNNNN

Over on Nugget's Twitter, yarr, there be plots a-thickenin'.



This post is extra short, so as to build suspense



oOOoOoOOoOo. wiggly ghost hands.

erin go BLAUUGH asdklsfl

Update over on Nugget's Twitter: he doesn't get St. Patrick's Day, either.


Riddlyn's really a jerk sometimes, isn't she? I mean, grass is green, too, and it's not nearly as poisonous. But nooo, that wouldn't be nearly as entertaining to watch.

Not fair for Nugget, either, 'cause Mister Bitch celebrated the holiday just fine. Several times, in fact. Stuff falling through your ribs helps with that, I guess.


Whew. Can't wait for when I figure out html enough to finally install Comicpress, so y'all can see the updates on each of the pages all on the same page, eh?


('Course, what'll I do with all this update space then?) :(

pokeymans

C'mon, kiddos. Pull up a chair.

Today, I'm going to talk about a very common illness that artists can come down with from time to time. It happens when somebody who's arted things for a while comes across a piece they've drawn a long while ago that they have decided to use for something once again, and proceeds to launch into a perfectionist frenzy not unlike a cloud of pirahnas. Symptoms include squinting, putting hands to face in a covering motion, grimacing, drawing back from the art as if in pain, and outbursts such as "OH GOD THE FEET, HOW THE HELL ARE THOSE SUPPOSED TO BE FEET", "WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS SUCKED SO BAD?", and "RRRRRRRGHH".

It's a tragic situation many suffer through in silence, much like diabetes, or wicked dog farts. And what's more, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Yes, this is mainly why your humble doodle wrangler hasn't had hot doodle stew ready on the table when you come home at night lately. Because the meatloaf I wanted to make you came from a years-old recipe where all the anatomy was drawn at weird, unpracticed angles and I didn't think to draw anything from reference and 'fingers' were strange, alien things best left unmentioned, and it pretty much tasted like microwaved hell whenever I'd try whipping up a batch. And I know I can do better than that, so to prove it I've had you go without supper until I can make a batch that really blows your socks off.

So in case it's not obvious: I'M ONLY STARVING YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. Y'know, like that time your aunt tried babysitting that cousin nobody brings up anymore, and the nice police folks came and had a chat with her for a while.


Also, the dry spell lately does not have anything whatsoever to do with the subject below, especially the new video game that came out last week, absolutely nothing at all no sir nuh uh.




...well maybe just a little tiny bit

Another week on the dry side, looks like. Still, among the pin design upgrades, was caught off-guard once I put the old design smack-dab next to the new one:



Holy crap. That's like... only three years apart, there.

It would appear I discovered this mystical thing people call "line weights" at some point.

GREY BOUQUET WANTS YOU...r stuffed animals

One of the things it's been tough to get across these past few weeks is the sheer amount of stuff that's been shifting around, now that a recent revision to the picture book includes hints of, gasp, an overall PLOTLINE for Grey Bouquet, with beginnings and middles and ends and conflict and other such luxuries that just plain weren't there in the original write-up.

So along with redoing old designs in time for a long-needed pin restock, doing the same for one of the greeting cards, and getting ducks in proverbial rows towards a total website revamp that'll be way easier to navigate, there's been the matter of stapling on a bunch of subplots to the GBQ beast at large, then going through every few tries and ripping off the ones that don't seem to be working so good. If you've seen the movie "Akira": kinda like dealing with that big mutating gore baby at the end, only with fewer organ systems the size of apartment blocks puffing out of nowhere involved. Lots of erasing, though. And the amount of screaming's about the same. :(

One of these subplots that does hold up through every scratch-out and rewrite is the part where Riddlyn is somewhat of an insane-sounding plush collector (only really, she's not. Really). She single-handedly (flipperedly?) runs the Velveteen Underground, as she calls it-- her rescue mission, roaming the Afterworld for orphaned stuffed toys that had a kid know they were real for long enough for their sentience to stick around after all the humans went away. Only Riddlyn can hear them, but she's determined to gather them all together and make sure they know somebody else-- even if it's only her-- knows they're real, too.

What does this mean? Only that it's time for a CASTING CALL!



That's right. Have you ever had a stuffed animal you knew was real? Want to give 'em a bit of well-deserved immortality? If so, go ahead and send us your best description of what your faithful stuffie looked/looks like (photos are a-okay, too!), and they just might show up in the Grey Bouquet universe.

EXAMPLE:

Name: Pink Dinosaur
Likes long walks on the beach (though prefers to be carried), PB&J crusts, and giving rides to the very small. (Doesn't mind when the not-so-small give it a try, either.)
All limbs intact-- spent a long, loooong time in a basement.
Defender of smelly kids.
Superhero at heart.

[Note: it's just one example. Be as matter-of-fact or descriptive as you want.]

Send all stuffed star-search hopefuls on over to greybq AT gmail DOT com . (Remember to replace the @ and .! Thanks for helping us keep spambots off our tail.)

Now unfortunately, I can't promise any monetary reward with this. In fact, I'll be honest: this is pretty much a donation call for Velveteen Underground stand-ins. I can't track everyone down and pay them royalties if an old friend of yours gets picked to show up in the book or the comic pages.

But hey, if you were lucky enough to have somebody in your life that stuck with you thick and thin, overstuffed or raggedy, rubbed-off buttons or no, here's your chance to let this pre-apocalypse world know how awesome they are!

snow dayyyy

NUGGET'S BACK ON TWITTER

There. My work here is done.



(...And I so wish I could show off the stuff I'm putting together for the picture book, 'cause nothing looks impressive like somebody saying "no, really, I swear I haven't been a total slacker lately" without anything else to show for it, am I right?) o_x

-----

This is a placeholder post. It will be replaced in the wee hours of Monday becoming Tuesday.

Due to the newest "I left for five minutes. WHERE did this foot and a half of snow come from" we here in MN were so kindly donated, your humble doodle wrangler got chased off the apartment grounds today so they could plow it, and Lee and Lisa's apartment got snowed in too (remember them? The ones who do Godseeker? You should go read their stuff). Ergo, no access to a scanner before I had to dash over to work. I get back from the office at 11:30pmish, so it'll be fixed sometime soon after then. Just figured y'all should know in the meantime.

So don't worry. I still like you all.

Except for the atmosphere. You're a jerk. The rest of you are cool.

I ASSURE YOU WE'RE OPEN

not much to show for it this week


but see?

busy




Oh, and the Etsy shop's been restocked. Happy Half Price Chocolate Eve, y'alls.

and there's something about a ball, I think

In celebration of that quaint human custom of gathering once a year to order pizza and watch a bunch of commercials, we are proud to present: BUTTON LINK ADS! Swap 'em, trade 'em, collect 'em all! ...which is really easy to do, 'cause they're all here on this one page.

You can choose your favorite size, and the html coding to copy/paste it should be right under each image.

PS, for those who've mentioned the right-side menu is cutting off the right side of the pictures in the blog: like all those other times, you'll probably have to click on the image to see the whole banner link pic. Not sure why that cropping issue keeps happening to a lot of you. I'd love to learn how to fix that particular bit of unpleasantness, if anyone happens to know.

---

<html>

<body>

<p>

<a href="default.asp">

<img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/gerbilmeister/Grey%20Bouquet%20extras/button-link-small.gif" alt="[GREYBOUQUET dot COM]" width="150" height="50" />

</a></p>

</body>

</html>

---

<html>

<body>

<p>

<a href="default.asp">

<img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/gerbilmeister/Grey%20Bouquet%20extras/button-link-big-nugget.gif" alt="[GREYBOUQUET dot COM]" width="500" height="140" />

</a></p>

</body>

</html>

---

<html>

<body>

<p>

<a href="default.asp">

<img border="0" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v460/gerbilmeister/Grey%20Bouquet%20extras/button-link-big-riddlyn.gif" alt="[GREYBOUQUET dot COM]" width="600" height="125" />

</a></p>

</body>

</html>

HEY EV'RYBODY! 8D

Let's all form a rockin' band!








yup, I got nuthin'