no more Mister Nice Bitch.

Hey! Check us out, all still bein' alive and all!

What's up with the radio silence? Well, again, most of the effort going into Grey Bouquet these past months has been stuff involving the picture book. Parted ways with one artist, presently working out test pages with a new one... The character design sketches are lookin' awesome! Wish I could show some around, but you'll have to make do with this for now:



No, that's not from the book. That's a teaser sketch of the new greeting card in the works! Three guesses what occasion this one's celebrating.

---

Speaking of greeting cards... awkward cough. Some bad news on this front.

Not naming names (especially since I don't know what they were), but it's come to our attention that a couple folks were sending the Mister Bitch "Happy Birthday Bitch" card to gals they knew, specifically with threatening or harrassing messages. And while it would be easy to shrug and reply with some knee-jerk excuse like "His name is meant to be a joke!" the fact remains: it's only gals who've been targeted, and NO, THIS IS NOT OKAY.

So. Time to own up to my naivete-- just because I meant it to be a joke, some folks aren't joking when they talk against women like that, and by selling this card, I've made it easier (and worse, made it seem more acceptable; 'hey, there's even a card I can buy that agrees with me!') to do stuff like those couple of folks did, unintentionally or not.

This ties in with the writers' critique meetups I've gotten feedback from re: the picture book script, where everyone so far has agreed (unanimously!) that "Mister Bitch" probably isn't the best name to use for a character in a book where all the names come across as meant to be jokey and cute.

Well, I agree with them. I may not have a new name picked for Amnio's zombie poodle just yet, but there will be a name change coming in the near future.

I've pulled the "Happy Birthday Bitch" card from all stores in the area, as well as the Etsy shop. I'll still have a few on hand at conventions, but if you buy one, I'm going to ask you to look me in the eye and say: "I solemnly swear I won't be a jerk."

Thanks in advance for understanding, yeah?

---

Speaking of conventions, let's get to some happier stuff! This spring, Grey Bouquet will have a booth at:

SAINT PAUL ART CRAWL
Cosmopolitan building
250 E 6th Street, Saint Paul
Friday April 27, 6-10 PM;
Saturday April 28, 12-8 PM;
Sunday April 29, 12-5 PM

SPRINGCON
MN State Fairgrounds, Saint Paul - Grandstand building
May 19 & 20, 10am to 5pm

---

One last thing: if you want to see all the stuff I've been drawing lately that isn't Grey Bouquet, swing by the webcomic I've been updating every Monday and Friday since October.


Autobiographical, with a cast of animal blobs representing different folks. (NOTE: Not work safe if your boss has a problem with occasional swear words.)

INCOMING!

Everybody look alive! Fall convention season's coming this way, and trust me, no amount of huffing and puffing is gonna blow it off its course!

So, let's say you've got a hankering to check out what's new in the Grey Bouquet universe AND get in some quality nerd time all at once. Where do you go? Read on, truth-seekers:


SCHOOLGIRLS & MOBILESUITS
http://schoolgirlsandmobilesuits.com
Saturday, October 1: 11am-1pm
Sunday, October 2: 11am-1pm
Bazaar in main building's cafeteria
2501 Stevens Ave S
Minneapolis, MN 55404

SAINT PAUL ART CRAWL
http://www.stpaulartcrawl.org
Friday, October 7: 6-10pm
Saturday, October 8: noon-8pm
Sunday, October 9: noon-5pm
Cosmopolitan Building
250 E 8th St.
Saint Paul, MN 55101

FALLCON
http://midwestcomicbook.com
Saturday, October 15th: 10am-4pm
MN State Fairgrounds - in the Progress Center
1621 Randall Ave.
Saint Paul, MN 55108

MIX - MINNEAPOLIS INDIE XPO
http://mplsindiexpo.com
Saturday, November 5: 10am-5pm
Sunday, November 6: 10am-5pm
The Soap Factory
518 Second St. SE
Minneapolis, MN 55458


...aaaand pencils down. Everybody got that? Good.


Still undecided? Having a first shot at new GBQ merch not sealing the deal for you yet? Well, we've got snazzy new booth toys this time around, too. Here's proof of one of 'em in progress:



Also, if you've always had a hankering for getting your picture taken with a certain life-sized headless chicken... oh, that's right. Dreams DO come true, people.

-----

...Wha? What the-- we've got FANART?!

No kiddin'! Check out what Grand Master of Cool Mr. Ben Turner sent us last week:


"I'll have four fried me's and a Coke."

Not pictured: like five more Photoshopped Nugget-head pics besides this, including one that involved a truly terrifying gigantic fiberglass head of Eddie Murphy.

The Internet, folks. There are magical people there, and I heart them. Very much.

Still not dead!

In fact, to prove how NOT dead we are, slam your eyeballs against this beauty:



By popular demand-- the wedding greeting card!

Does it need some spit-polish yet before it'll be ready for print? Good gravy, yes it does.

Will this be seen to in the immediate future? You're darn tootin' it will.

Will you be able to pick one up for yourself by the time the next GBQ convention appearances roll around this October? I'm 99.9999% certain, yes. This one's too fun to sit on, am I right?

Will the card have that fugly watermark on it? Naw. Only the best for you fine folks. :D

CONvergence is imminent!

(Translation for folks who aren't nerds for Scrabble: there's a convention about to happen VERY SOON.)

Hey, all! Brush that sleep and/or fallout dust outta your eyelids, 'cause we've got some news happenin' over here!

First off: as the title suggests, in just a few days, you're gonna be waking up, and CONvergence is gonna be ALL OVER YOU, AAAAAA. So you'd better be prepared. Is that it? Over there? IS IT? Maybe. YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU.

Grey Bouquet'll have a table there at the Artists' Alley, though your guess is as good as ours as to exactly when. That's con mayhem for ya. Keeps you on your toes. Like the folks with bunny and kitty hats and candy necklaces who run up out of nowhere and tackle-hug you at these kind of things. Builds character, I say.

---

Second: at long last, One Year Closer To Dying greeting cards are back in stock!

So are the Nugget pins, Amnio pins, AND Mister Bitch pins that went and got redesigned all snazzy-like! (True, the pictures haven't changed for 'em yet, but the new photos should show up there in the store by tomorrow.)

Same for Nugget's Diary T-shirts, including for the first time ever: SIZE SMALLS! All you tiny people out there who love wearing headless chickens on your torsos, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. We even gave the shirt design itself an upgrade and made the back logo big enough for folks to read without them getting all up in your personal space and squinting at it! Terminally shy people who like Nugget with his neck scruff pointing the right way? THIS IS YOUR MOMENT TOO.

Heck, EVERYTHING at the Etsy shop is back online! Silly us for not noticing they expired. again. cough. All of you who like not having to go outside to buy things? THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. ALL YOURS.

...Look at us, handing out moments like we've lost the lease over here. Everybody calm down, okay? We're getting to the bottom of the moment bag for today, and I don't want all of you fighting over the last ones. Remember what happened to poor little Sally last month.



There, that's better.

---

Thirdly, regarding any more updates in the near future: your humble doodle wrangler is still stuck up to the thoracic cavity in busy. There's going to be an honest-to-Pete Grey Bouquet webcomic! Someday...! With, like, pages and a storyline and such. The first part's scripted out and everything.

When is it going to start happening? I wish I had any idea. When I have a clearer answer, by all means, this blog'll keep you covered. I know, sorry, sorry... I hate cliffhangers, too.

---

So apparently it was Father's Day last week. Who knew? (Aside from everybody, I mean. Shh. You weren't supposed to answer that one.)



As always, you might have to click the picture to see the whole thing if it's clipping partway-- and if you're not seeing the dialogue on the right side of it, that means you'll need to click to see it. Thanks for sticking through the technical difficulties.

Huh..? His feet? Of course Amnio's dad has feet. Shh. You're not supposed to notice that, either.

I feel fine..! Think I'll go for a walk

Hello, and great big it's-okay-we-showered-not-too-long-ago handshakes to those of you just joining us from the conventions GBQ's been at this past month! All of you shiny happy people were awesome and awesome to meet. (Especially the one who let me take a photo of his teeth. Those were some fantastic teeth. Believe me, you'd agree if you saw them.)

For those of you who've been here a while, though, your first question probably has to do with how there's been squat for updates this past month as well. And I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news-- especially for the new folks, 'cause for you, this is like when you find out the fast food place down the street is building a new playplace, and when you get there, wouldn't you know it, their new height rules say you're JUST too tall to be able to play on it-- but it's become painfully obvious lately that I can run Grey Bouquet, OR I can keep up a full-time job, but I haven't figured out how to do both at the same time just yet.

So for the time being, no more regular Monday updates here on the blog. I'll still update when there's news or an upcoming event or something, never fear, but for now, my time's going into

1.) revamping the site to make it easier to navigate, especially in time for
2.) getting the first sequence of actual honest-to-Pete main storyline Grey Bouquet webcomic pages ready to put up, with any remaining time put into
3.) continuing work on the picture book.

Feel free to send any candidates for the Velveteen Underground to greybq[AT]gmail.com in the meantime. Yup, that's still a thing that's going on.


So. Not dead. Slooooowly getting better.

scrawled on the wall in red pen

If you can read this message, you will know I am still alive.


It has been many weeks since I first descended into the florescent-lit Off'ice village and made first contact with its tribe.

My trials in those early days were many and merciless, and I have learned much. I have picked up smatterings of the Off'ice people's native written language, with its complex system of carbon transfer papers. I now know the thrill of returning from a successful Chipotle's hunt. The bloody consequences of touching any food bearing the inscription "DAVE'S".

Was not expecting the ritual circumcision, I will admit, but even that part wasn't too bad after the screaming stopped and I passed out.

It was... has it already been two weeks? Time grows strange in this place. Whenever it was, I was surprised and honored to be presented with a proposal by the mighty figure they refer to only in whispered tones as "H.R.": I would become a regular member of their tribe! My responsibilities would only grow with my title, Returning Temp, but they assured me my rewards would more than meet the difference.

So I write to you, my beloved brainchildren, and beg you not to despair. I am allowed short times away from my duties, and in those rare times when I do not collapse and fall instantly asleep, I will think of new stuff for you to blow up, or attempt to eat, et cetera.

I will remember.


--Your creator


TL;DR version
WORK PROMOTION appeared!
PROMOTION uses EXTRA HOURS
PROMOTION goes NOM NOM NOM
SUPER EFFECTIVE
GERBIL HAS FAINTED!

GREY BOUQUET used UPDATE!
But nothing happened...

---

Hokay. Pins and shirts ordered. New GBQ booth display sketched out.

Grey Bouquet part of Black Hat Collective booth banner (made for upcoming convention season, starting with April 29th's St. Paul Art Crawl weekend, where you can catch all of our ragtag comic artist bunch LIVE): done.



Sleeptime: emminent.

Once work's over, I mean.

get it while it's... hot?

Snow's meltin'! Everybody get some sledding time in while you still can't see all the dead grass and animal poop the snow's worked so hard to try and hide. (Good try, snow. We knew you'd give it your best shot.)

Or playing-in-traffic time works too. Either way. Much safer now that there's no cars to worry about, anyhow.

So of course, the image above led to this table-napkin scribble:


PLEASE PULL OVER SIR
THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A MINIMUM SPEED OF 35 MILES PER HOUR TO ME

---

Speaking of something I guess might in some way be related to traffic safety and/or winter sports if you squint hard enough: convention time is upon us once more! And of course, there'll be a few appetizer cons to tide you over 'till the main-course summer conventions start rollin'. Here's where Grey Bouquet will have a booth in the next couple months:

* SAINT PAUL ART CRAWL *
Cosmopolitan Building
250 6th Street East
Saint Paul, MN 55101
Friday, April 29th - 6:00pm until 10:00pm
Saturday, April 30th - noon through 8:00pm
Sunday May 1st - noon 'till 5:00pm

* SPRINGCON *
Minnesota State Fairgrounds, Grandstand Building
1265 Snelling Ave. N
Saint Paul, MN 55113
Saturday, May 21st - 10am to 5pm
Sunday, May 22nd - 10am to 5pm

---

Until then, still workin' on the last touchups for pin/shirt/greeting card makeovers/reorders. Once the restocks are, uh... well, restocked, you'll hear it here first!